“Understanding Pain”, etc. (261-265)
Welcome to Fragmentarium! Each issue contains five fragments of text that can be read independently of one another. However, all of the fragments are connected (from #1 onward), so the more of them you read, the more whole they will become.
261. Understanding Pain
No one likes unwanted pain and most pain is unwanted. When we are experiencing pain, we usually want to get rid of it as quickly as possible.
Some of the pain we experience is wholly unnecessary. It is caused by choices that we or other people have made and it would not have occurred otherwise. This includes the pain caused by systems and institutions human beings have created and support, which can inflict incredible harm on our minds and bodies.
But there are also pains that are not like this, pains that are simply part of what it is to exist as a human being. Some of these pains are caused by maladies and diseases that are outside of our control, but that we can sometimes alleviate using medicines and treatments. Others are akin to the pains we feel when we’re training our bodies — the aches that accompany growth and development. These pains arise from doing what is worthwhile but difficult, from pushing ourselves further than we would usually go.
In general, pain is an indicator that something difficult is happening for our bodies. The difficulty we’re undergoing is sometimes harmful, but not always. To act from compassion, we need to be aware of the wide variety of pains a human being can experience. This awareness comes from attention to our own experiences and from listening carefully to the experiences of others. Becoming deeply aware of what causes harm and what does not is essential for compassionate action.
Compassion aims to meet the needs of ourselves and others and often this means doing everything we can to reduce unnecessary pain. Compassion cannot directly eliminate pain in the same way as it can eliminate the emotional suffering that is produced by attachment. But acts of compassion do help to expand our awareness, including our awareness of which pains are unnecessary and how we can act creatively to prevent those particular pains from recurring.
Acting from compassion can sometimes also mean that we will experience pain. Even the growth of our awareness can be uncomfortable and occasionally painful. Helping to meet the needs of others can sometimes involve doing things that are painful for us to do. To understand that these pains are not to be avoided is an essential part of what it is to be aware.
262. Technological Change
Every new technology revives the worry that we might have gone too far. We become concerned that our new creation has taken something away from what it is to be human and deprived us of meaning and purpose. It is only with time that we see that while we have lost something, we have also found new sources of meaning, in addition to the material benefits that the new technology has produced.
There are always those who would prefer to return to a simpler form of life, one that is not mired in the complexities of advanced technology. But any such return would hinder human creativity, for the expansion of our tool set is also a kind of creative growth. Our creative abilities expand as we become more aware of ourselves and the world, and technological innovation is an inescapable part of this process.
As we learn about our world and its ways, we discover new paths of creative expression. We always follow these paths, regardless of the potential risks, for it is by doing so that we develop new capacities to effectively meet our needs. What typically prevents needs from being met is not technology but the rigidity of human-imposed systems that do not allow our new tools and their products to be made available to those who would most benefit from them.
It is precisely our lack of awareness of the normative world that allows these harmful systems to continue, and it is their dominance that makes new technologies dangerous. When we lack awareness, our new creations can easily be used to further injustice, even when our intentions are good.
Regardless, any attempt to limit technological change will fail for the same reason any attempt to limit creativity will ultimately fail. Human creativity always transcends any possible limitations that are placed on it, which means our world is continuously being recreated.
Change can be scary, but we should not try to avoid it for that reason. Instead, we must do everything we can to raise the awareness of ourselves and others. By doing so, we can create the systemic changes necessary to ensure our new technologies are used for compassionate ends and not to perpetuate injustice.
263. Always Questioning
What she wants most is to understand herself. She’s always thinking through her experiences, always questioning herself and everything that happens to her. She wants to see what is true in her and what is false. She wants to know why she does one thing instead of another. She wants to comprehend the whole reality of the person that she is.
Sometimes she thinks about these things too much. When she’s aware of this happening, she forces herself to stop. Her deepest questions have to remain unanswered, and this bothers her. Her own self seems to belie explanation, as if it were somehow beyond her possible understanding. She doesn’t know if things will ever become clearer, but she continues to look everywhere for answers.
She doesn’t trust her own desires, because she doesn’t know where they come from. She trusts her fears even less, for they often seem to get in the way of what she needs to do. She has endless doubts about most things, and not just things in her, but those out in the world too. She wishes there were something solid to support her, some dry ground she could stand on, instead of constantly flailing about in the sea of doubt.
But her wish has gone unfulfilled. She has been forced to rely on her own resolve instead. For she refuses to allow her doubts to restrain her fully. She refuses simply because she gets so frustrated with it all that she forces herself to take action.
The source of this decision to act is a mystery. It seems to come from nowhere at all, yet it must originate in her. She doesn’t understand how each particular choice is made. If it’s something about her that causes it, then why is she the person she is and not someone better? Why is she not more courageous, more grateful, more caring than she is? Why doesn’t she live normally instead of questioning every last thing?
Of course, she has no answers. She only knows she has to be what she is. There is simply no choice about that. She cannot abandon her questions any more than she can abandon herself.
264. Solving Problems
When I’m facing several complicated problems at once, my attention can easily become unstable. I feel like I need to address every problem at the same time, and as a result, I’m not able to solve any of them very well.
In a world of constant connectivity, it can seem like every problem is always present and in need of my immediate attention. But this is never true. There is always more time than it seems, but I’m unable to see this because I’m under the control of attachment.
I’m deeply worried about my unsolved problems and the potential for them to create an even worse situation for me. My aversion to this is so strong that I’ve become attached to it, and my attention is now dominated by the demands of my various problems. As a result, everything I do becomes tense and tightly controlled as I try to manage even what is totally unmanageable.
When I have a free moment, I use it to investigate my problems further, or I try to forget about them entirely by occupying my attention with something pleasurable. Both of these behaviours are signs of distraction, where I’m trying to sooth the symptoms of attachment so that I suffer less.
By trying to fight against my aversion and the suffering it is producing, I only make my attachment to it stronger. I verify its importance by giving it my focus, even when I don’t need to do so. What I actually need is to allow concern to be present without remaining attached to it. I need to allow feelings of worry to arise and depart without trying to fight them or escape from them.
When I’m free of attachment, my attention is open and free, and this means it can go where it’s most needed in the moment. In this state, I can stay calm despite facing problems, and I can see that there is time to do what I must. I also become capable of taking the compassionate and creative actions necessary to find solutions to my problems without being overwhelmed by worry.
265. Beginnings And Endings
You want to create a new artwork but you can’t seem to get started. You’re worried about beginnings and endings. You aren’t sure where to begin or how you’ll reach an end result that makes any sense.
You don’t want to start because you’re concerned that what you would make will be incomprehensible. You want your ideas to fit together into a consistent and unified form. You want the meaning of your creation to be obvious to you and to anyone who sees it. You want it to be clear and powerful from beginning to end and never confused or muddled.
You don’t want to start because your current position doesn’t feel like the true beginning. It feels like there’s somewhere else — a place that should come before or after where you are — and you don’t know how to get there. But the only place you can ever start from is where you find yourself.
You’re always in the middle, always in the midst of things. This looks like a problem, but it’s only a mirage. You can start where you are and explore in all directions. You have much exploring to do, but exploration takes place through the process of making — it isn’t something you can do in advance. It will happen as you work with your medium to bring your ideas into reality.
It’s from the middle that you must begin, and from there you’ll make your way towards the edges. As you do so, you’ll discover the beginnings and endings that are possible for your creation. You’ll see which meanings are already apparent and which are missing. But above all, you’ll create something tangible and this will be your most important achievement.
It is by creating that you learn how to create again. The practice of art making is just like any other practice in that you learn mostly by making mistakes. Your mistakes will show you new possibilities and it is from them that your future creations will be born.