“Finding The Root”, etc. (306-310)
Welcome to Fragmentarium! Each issue contains five fragments of text that can be read independently of one another. However, all of the fragments are connected (from #1 onward), so the more of them you read, the more whole they will become.
306. Finding The Root
To fully solve a problem, you first have to get to the root of it. The root is the source of the harm that is being caused and so it is the root that must be found and changed for the problem to be eliminated.
Once you start looking, you might find something that looks like the root, but also appears unalterable. You cannot see how this thing could be changed to be anything other than it already is. You might then investigate further, only to discover that it is not only solid, but also appears permanent or necessary.
This is a sign that you haven’t found the root, but rather another symptom of the problem. The actual root lies elsewhere — it is something that you haven’t seen yet. It’s possible that you cannot see it, because it exists outside the range of your current awareness. It might be something you take for granted, something that looks entirely obvious or factual, when it is really a contingent truth in disguise.
To find the actual root of the problem, you must first overcome the deficit of awareness. You must allow your investigation of the problem to become broader and deeper than before. This means you’ll need to let go of the false root you found earlier. If your attention remains focused there, it will continue to circle the false root, confirming its necessity and permanence, until you fall into hopelessness and give up.
When you see the actual root of the problem, the solution will be obvious to you. This doesn’t mean it will be easy, but you will know what you must do and feel motivated to do it. The problem will no longer seem permanent or unchangeable — it will instead look like something you can begin to fix right away.
You’ll start taking action because your new awareness has shown you the necessity of doing so. You’ll want to solve the problem for yourself and others with a new intensity and a new hope. It is through openness to alternatives and relentless questioning of everything that seems fixed that you can discover creative solutions even to those problems that seem completely impossible to solve.
307. Thirst For Knowledge
Our desire for knowledge is insatiable. We are endlessly curious about the world and we want to understand it. The strength of our desire comes from seeing the practical value of knowledge — using knowledge, we can do things we wouldn’t otherwise be able to do.
But just like any other desire, the desire for knowledge can be dangerous. It becomes dangerous when we become attached to it and we begin to see knowledge as an end in itself. Our attachment causes us to restrict our attention and manipulate our actions towards knowing more and more. We start to value knowledge above other things, including care and compassion for ourselves and others.
We might think that by knowing more we also become more aware. But knowledge is not awareness. Knowledge is a tool that awareness can employ, but it is always only a tool. Awareness is not practical in the way knowledge is, and it cannot be communicated directly in the way knowledge can be shared. Awareness is the intuitive result of attention to experience, whereas knowledge is the logical result of practice and reason.
Attachment to our desire for knowledge also means that we often see our knowledge as being more certain and conclusive than it actually is. When we learn something about the natural world through the methods of science, we generally expect that result to be repeatable and reliable. But much of the knowledge we obtain is not actually about the natural world but about the human-constructed world of norms and systems. Our obsession with knowledge causes us to conflate the two, to see the world of norms to be just as fixed and final as the world of science.
Everything we know about norms and systems is always only a feature of our current construction and thus it could be otherwise. In fact, it would be otherwise if we collectively agreed to use different norms or systems. But the natural world cannot be changed in this way — if we decide it is otherwise, our knowledge would simply lose its practical value.
We need to remember that norms and systems are contingent entities, so that we do not fall into the trap of thinking they are fixed and therefore unchangeable. But seeing this requires us to create space from our desire for knowledge. We must recognize the dangers attachment to it can bring, and in doing so allow ourselves the chance to be free of it.
308. A Living Ghost
She understands that to get better she has to allow herself to move on. There is no other way. She can’t live forever in the trauma of her past. She has to build a new life for herself. She can’t afford to go on caring about what was done or even who it was done to. That person is not her anymore. That person is also in the past.
Every day she tells herself to let go of the idea that the past matters. She is letting go of caring about the past. She is letting go of caring itself. She has been actively reminding herself of these things. She is discovering slowly that she is becoming more capable. Her methods are working. She no longer feels as much pain, and that must mean she’s healing.
Free of pain, she is able to do more. She can go to work and earn money and live well. What does it mean to live well? She thinks it means being able to survive on her own. It means not having to rely on others. It means especially not having to rely on anyone who could hurt her.
She likes living well. She likes it even though her world is now more solitary. She likes it because there’s barely any pain and sometimes she even feels pleasure. That has to be a good sign. She thinks it means she’s doing the right thing.
But there are also moments when she doesn’t know what life is supposed to be. Or what it is supposed to be for. She can go on living well, but she doesn’t really care about anything or anyone, and she isn’t entirely sure she cares about living either. Not that it matters though, because she is letting go of caring. And if it doesn’t matter then she can just go on. Dead or alive, it’s all the same in the end.
She is functioning without pain and that feels most important. It doesn’t matter that she has lost her connection to the so-called real world. It doesn’t matter that she has lost her concern for other people. She has given up caring about these things. She is a ghost now. And most of the time she’s fine with it.
309. What Is Me
I have a body in the form of a human animal. I have desires, aversions, and beliefs that arise from reflecting on myself and the world and making judgments about them. I have language and reason, which I can use to communicate and make inferences. I have memories of past experiences and imaginings of possible future experiences. I have connections to other people — parents, ancestors, friends, and lovers. I have a story of myself that is all of these things put together into a single narrative.
But none of these things that I possess is me. Not even their combination is me. I am the entity that experiences, the subject that perceives and feels and thinks. While it is true that my ability to do these things depends on my body being alive, even my body is not me.
The many things that I possess are sometimes so powerful that they dominate my experience. When my arm is sore, it’s difficult for me to be free of the pain, just as when my desire for success or my beliefs about the world are strong, I easily become attached to them. The intensity of these influences causes me to construct an identity around them: I define myself by all of the things that I have.
If I can see that I am not my possessions, it becomes possible for me to live free of them. Doing so means recognizing that I am a completely contentless being. When I see myself as this, I am also empty of attachment. It then becomes possible for me to see the needs that must be met in order to survive and thrive.
Needs are not further possessions, but rather necessary conditions of life itself. To see this fully and clearly is to recognize the pressing necessity of compassion, which is action to meet needs. My needs and the needs of others are not different but continuous aspects of need. All need must be met for joyful existence to become truly possible. To understand this is to see the necessity of allowing compassion to be present in everything I do.
310. Versatile Art
Some artworks are vibrant and fun and we give them our attention because they are enjoyable to experience. We gravitate towards these works because they satisfy our desires for novelty and pleasure.
Other artworks are more difficult to experience, usually because there is something challenging, bothersome, or even frightening about them. We’re more inclined to look away from these works because they disturb us. But they also show us something new about ourselves or the world, and by doing so, they help to meet our need for awareness.
Most artworks lie somewhere between these two extremes — they both please us and expand our awareness. They help to satisfy some of our desires while also meeting some of our needs.
As each person’s awareness is unique to their experience of life, certain artworks will appeal to them more or less than others. A work that is entirely focused on expanding awareness might only attract a small group of people, whereas a work that primarily supplies pleasure might reach many but leave us feeling empty since it cannot meet our deeper needs.
The most popular artworks tend to be those that are versatile enough to satisfy the desires of many while also helping us become aware of something that previously escaped our attention. The very best works can supply the beauty and truth that nourishes many different people, often by operating in different ways for audiences with different awareness. Such a work might be popular for seemingly superficial reasons, while also showing us something profound.
An artwork’s ability to broaden the awareness of its audience depends on the attention it receives. If the audience’s attention is too closed or constrained then it will be impossible for the artwork to have any effect on them. The aspects of an artwork that are most enjoyable often act as the lure that attracts the audience and opens their attention so that the work can be seen more fully. In this way, the audience gains an opportunity to discover something that they might not have otherwise allowed themselves to see.